she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
