belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
