If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
