Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
