Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

No stitches, just platelets and will power

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(201): View more from New Jersey

At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old

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(818): View more from California

She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club

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(301): View more from Maryland

I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.

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(217): View more from Illinois

4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket

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(425): View more from Washington

So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?

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(702): View more from Nevada

I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.

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