So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
