he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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