I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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