I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
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