He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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