No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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