Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
