he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
