dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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