Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
