that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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