We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
