Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
