so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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