im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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