I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
