I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize