I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
