after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
