I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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