You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
