i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
