i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
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