Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
