Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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