garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
