Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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