Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
