i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
