That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize