haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
