I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize