Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
