btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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