Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
