she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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