Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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