I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
