so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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