I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
sex in a hospital.. check
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
