Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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