U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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