I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize