So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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