So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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