It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize