I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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