it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
