Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
