The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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