I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
