I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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