seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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