Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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