I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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