fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
