Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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